Summer, 2010. The Beginning

So, summer has began. I am staying at my boyfriend's house in Pennsylvania for the summer. I got here last Tuesday afternoon and I haven't really slowed down since. On that Tuesday, I went to Andy's brother Scott's baseball game. Scott is a senior in high school and he is the catcher on their baseball team. I don't know much about baseball, but I think he is really good. Haha.

I have also applied to a lot of places. I have applied at:
Red Lobster
Applebees
TGI Friday's
Red Robin
Max & Erma's
and another Applebees.

So far, I have an interview at TGI Friday's and both Applebees and Max & Erma's said that they would call me this week. I am hoping to work nights at Friday's and possibly work the lunch shift at Max & Erma's. Or just work Friday's. Haha. I will just be happy to have a job.

The only reason that I am even posting is because I am so excited that I have access to the internet. I spent almost 3 hours today trying to set up the wireless internet here.

Wish me luck at my job interview on Tuesday!!!

My Own Hell?

Barack Obama
Circle I Limbo

Goths
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Scientologists
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Hipsters
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Nancy Pelosi
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

General asshats
Circle VII Burning Sands

Democrats
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

P90x Day 2 and other things too!

Well, I have survived day two, barely. My legs were like jello when I woke up this morning. Walking down the stairs to leave the building and then up the stairs to my first class was brutal. It's a good hurt, though. I am so ready to stick to this workout plan.

I don't really want to talk too much about it today, though. I mean, I worked out my shoulders and arms. haha. No excitement there.

I registered for classes today. I am taking some hard classes next semester as well as some fun ones. I am taking genetics, physics, a science methods class, astronomy and fly fishing. Yup. Fly fishing. I am pretty excited about it.

Also, as I never ever ever update this, I got sort of a promotion at my job here on campus. I went from being a resident assistant (RA) to a lead resident assistant (LRA). I have more responsibilities and get paid more. I also get to live in an apartment, which I am pretty happy about. I am going to be on a floor with is all science, technology, engineering and math majors (STEM). They will (should) all be upper classmen, so hopefully some of the issues I have had to deal with this year won't arise next year. I'm just pretty excited about the entire situation in general.

I am also currently trying to figure out my summer plans. I don't even know where I am staying yet, let alone where I am working. I hope to have that all figured out within the next couple of weeks.

I am having a really hard time concentrating right now when all I really want to do is sleep. Haha. That's p90 for you.

P90x, Day 1

Yeah. I tried it two summers ago, and today, I started it up again. P90x. If you have never done it, you don't know what you're missing. It's intense. Really intense. I'm always panting and sweating in less than 5 minutes. I don't know what happened last summer, but I worked out one day (yes one. I did laps in a pool) but I lost more weight (and fat) than I did the summer before when I did a mix of P90x and weight training.
Well, I went an entire semester and the only thing that I lifted at all was my grades. Haha. It was also probably the most stressful semester of my life. Long story short...I put on all of the weight I lost over the summer. I'm not happy about it because, well, I looked better without it.
I have made a vow to eat better and stick to this workout plan. I am giving myself one "off day" a week, and the other 6 days, I am going to push it hard with P90x. I am going to try to post on here as well to keep my motivation up. I will not be posting progress pics, though. I am a little too self conscious for that.
I am also going to eat better. I make smoothies (or eat a peanut butter sandwich) for breakfast. I plan to stick with that.
So, what's on deck for tomorrow? Shoulders and arms and ab ripper x. I am thinking that I will get up early to do shoulders and arms and then do ab ripper x in the afternoon.
Wish me luck!!

The Holidays

I'm pretty beat. I have been going nonstop since break began. It's sad to say, but I almost can't wait to be back at B-W. *Almost.*

I am staying at Andy's house for the holidays. Everything is going okay. It really could be better, but, right now, I will settle for okay.

I have also been working. At the closest Lone Star. Which happens to be almost 40 minutes away and even slower than the Lone Star in North Olmsted. Oh well, it gets me out of the house.

I actually have been working a lot. Thursday, I worked an 8 hour shift (which, if you have never worked at an actual restaurant, is a long, long, long shift) without a break. I have another one of those shifts tomorrow and even a longer one on Monday. So much for only 3 shifts a week. (I got 6 this week.)

I seem to have had a really short temper lately. Maybe it's cabin fever. Or maybe it's how much I am working. Anyway, I am working on it.

My holiday was great. I really like spending time with Andy's family. It makes it not-so-bad that mine lives so far away.

It's really late. And I am tired. Exhausted, really. It has been a long day. Which, by the way, included me setting up the wireless network for Andy's family. Which is why I am able to be on my laptop at 1:16am making this available to you fine people. Merry Christmas. I hope yours was as heartwarming as mine.

Crazy Times

I have had such a crazy, crazy day.

Andy told me before we got together that he had a crazy ex girlfriend. I never thought that things would get this out of hand. A couple days ago, a friend of his ex friended me on facebook and I added her, not knowing who she was. When I realized who she was (and also, that I have never met her) I deleted her and blocked her. I don't need that kind of drama in my life. She sent Andy a message on facebook:

Thanks for deleting me off of facebook and your girlfriend or whoever the hell she is for blocking me.That's good because maybe you shouldn't hide hide things or people from your girlfriend. Oh and **** is my bestest friend and she tells me EVERYTHING. She's way to good for you she just doesn't realize it yet. I always thought you were a pretty kool guy until now. Thanks and have a great day!!! :)

**** Is this girl's best friend. I don't want to put names on here because this is my personal therapeutic blog and not a place to talk trash on other people. I know and trust my boyfriend and I know that he is not cheating on me. Which brings me to the next message, an email that i received this morning:

Amanda,

I know this will be hard for you to believe well it really shouldn't be but your so called boyfriend
Andrew Betts is cheating on you with other girls while you are not around such as during the summer, holidays, and pretty much any time he's home and away from you. Sorry, don't mean to sound blunt but I just thought you should know the truth becuase I've been told once a cheater always a cheater. He tells everyone at home that you have told him it's alright for him to see other women and even have sexual encounters when you guys are apart becasue you are doing the same. I guess the way he explains it is you guys have an open relationship? I know you'll probably ignore this but this is only to benefit you and help you, because I don't think any women should be treated this way. Feel free to email me back if you have any questions! IMy mom has even witnessed him at the meadows racetrack with a girl with blonde hair and they were extremely friendly with each other while betting on the horses. My mother actually had an encounter with them and he had his arms around her and kissed her.

Again I am very sorry for you to have to find out this way.

I have very good reason to believe that they are from the same person. It really makes me angry that someone wants to cause so much drama in my life. My relationship is probably one of the most stable things in my life right now. It really hurts that someone is trying to sabotage it. I really love my boyfriend and I trust him. Completely.

I believe that this whole ordeal has actually made me stronger. Despite my anger, I am really glad that it happened because it made me realize how much he means to me. I love him very much. We were talking about it afterwards and how strong it is going to make us. This is how the conversation went:

Andy: This is one of those things that either can break you or make you stronger.

Andy: I vote for the making us stronger.

Me: I agree, sweetie.

Andy: Let's get married.

Me. Um, Andy?

Andy: Ya?

Me: That's a little drastic, don't ya think?

Andy: Haha. Okay. We will wait.

I have no reason not to trust Andy. He even previously gave me his facebook password. Not that I have used it for anything, but if he was hiding stuff from me, then he wouldn't be so willing to share his passwords.

Anyway. I don't want to dwell on this situation anymore. The girls have caused enough unneeded drama.

My Life and Why He's Awesome :]

I have been promising to blog about Andy for a very long while now. Well, I am tired of making empty promises. The time has come.

Andy is an amazing person and a wonderful boyfriend. I know I complain about him a lot, but I wouldn't have him any other way. I love him more than anything. Which is pretty surprising considering how, when we met, I didn't even like him. I actually thought he was an arrogant asshole. But I am going to tell the story. And believe me, it's a funny story to tell. This is taken from my Myspace blog from last year. It just kind of tells how we met:

My roommate and I wanted to go outside and shoot basketball. I'm not very good at it, but it's something that relieves stress and something that I love to do. We also had another friend, who we met while wandering around campus orientation weekend, who was going to shoot around with us. So there we were, vividly engrossed in our game of horse when I notice this older-looking guy walking toward the basketball courts. He had a basketball, and appeared to be an upperclassmen, so my first thought was "Great, I hope he doesn't think we are going to give up the court for him just because we are freshmen." Well, he ended up joining our game of horse and proceeded to completely own everyone else playing. Lucky me, the one who has never played basketball before gets to go after the basketball player. =/ Anyway, the entire time he played all he did was make fun of the way I played, the movies I had and hadn't seen, and pretty much anything else that came up in conversation. All the while, I am thinking, "wow, how can this guy be such an asshole?" A little later, the other guy we were with had to leave, and it was just me, Andy and my roommate. We were just standing around talking about high school, movies, music, pretty much anything, and Andy was still sliding in insulting remarks about me wherever he could fit them. Finally, I was able to find a movie that I had seen that he never had, Nothing to Lose. My roommate happened to have that movie in our room, so, I don't know if you would call it spite, or fate, or whatever, I invited Andy up to watch the movie. (Let it be known, that at this point in time, I wasn't even interested enough to remember his name. I seriously had to keep glancing at his ID to remember it...pathetic, I know.) Anyway, we watched the movie and then parted ways afterward, with the plans to meet up at the same time the next day, for basketball.

Well, the next day, after classes and whatnot, it was collectively decided by my roommate and I that we should do our laundry. Because of the lack of available machines, our laundry time ran over into "basketball time," and we ended up not being able to meet Andy for basketball, and my roommate and I were going to a Greek cookout (free food), so I invited Andy along. To make a long story short(er), I ended up helping him with his laundry and afterwards we got coffee and went down to the lake to talk. Somehow, we ended up talking about absolutely everything and pretty much anything and stayed out until 3am. (I later realized that the only one who was negatively affected by this was me. He didn't have class until 2. Lucky bastard.) Things after that are a bit fuzzy, but thats how it all started. Oh, and obviously the asshole first impression was some sort of ploy that I still don't understand. Apparently, all guys stand by the whole "Nice guys finish last" thing. oh well. It worked out for the best because I am now much happer than I have ever been with any other person.

Every bit of that still stands true today. I mean, yeah, we fight, like any normal couple. But I can't stay mad at him. All he has to do is smile at me and all of my anger is gone. (He doesn't know that...yet...) It's hard to be away from him, even for a summer. But I know it's going to be okay. :] I wish I could do him more justice than this post; he really is amazing.

Thanks for reading!!

Cheeseburger in Paradise!!

So. I have gotten a job. Cheeseburger in Paradise. Jimmy Buffett themed restaurant. Cheesy and quirky, yes. But it will pay the bills. I really don't feel like posting a very long blog. Mostly for the reason that no one really reads it but maybe 3 people. Honestly, why should I make a big commitment to blogging when no one really reads my blog but me and a few close friends? Anyway. I am going to make it a habit to read other people's blogs and try to gather a bit of a following. That way I have more of a reason to blog. Due to The Wifey, most of the blogs I read are mommy blogs. Haha. I do love to read about the adventures of parenthood though. It is fun. Anyway. I'm really tired. Longer blog post to come.

Day 1 of job hunting...and an update on the Gulf...

The oil this time...it is affecting us here already. Destin is about an hour east of Pensacola...I went out job searching today and was pretty disappointed. Everyone is being hit hard by this oil spill. The first place I hit was actually a restaurant that was in the process of opening up. So they are looking at hiring a complete staff and having the restaurant open for business by June 14 (Happy Birthday, Eric!!). That guy was pretty optimistic and upbeat about everything. The second place I hit was a mexican restaurant that, judging by the empty tables as I walked in at noon, heavily depends on tourist business. I asked the manager if he was hiring, and he was fairly frank with me. "If this oil doesn't come this weekend, yes. But I am sorry to say that it is probably going to come and I am probably not going to hire you" You could just tell by the look on his face that he cared about more than just his business. He cared about the town. Not only is Destin, Florida a tourist attraction; it is a fishing town. Has been forever. And it's obviously not just Destin that is being affected. Things that you wouldn't think of, like my grandfather's property that he has been trying to sell for years. It is located right outside of Pensacola in a quaint little town by the name of Gulf Breeze. You may have heard of it; it has been on TV in the past because of its "extraterrestrial activity". Anyway, my grandfather owns a lot (on which his house used to sit. There is a post for another day) This lot, without any property on it, is well worth a million dollars. I am not exaggerating. Before the hurricane that took my grandfather's house, the lot alone was appraised at just under a million dollars. Yeah, the real estate market in general has pretty much gone to hell in a hand basket with the economy, I know. But this lot is going to be worth even less now. Who in their right mind is going to purchase a water front lot with an oil spill and hurricane season approaching? I have seriously advised him to go and speak to a BP representative (which, recently, have came to Destin to hear the claims of the fishermen and businessmen and landowners.) Since the oil is a reason he might not be able to sell his lot, then he might be entitled to make a claim. The only thing wasted by him trying would be time. And if he were able to make a claim, then it would be well worth it. Anyway.

I also put in an application at a small mom-and-pop place that serves food and has a bar. And Longhorn Steakhouse (they offer paid vacation to servers!). I have also decided to keep my Shrimp Shack job. I want to work there like 3 days a week and work as a for real server the rest of the week. So, instead of having a second job, I would have a complimentary job. But it all depends on the oil...

Until next time,

The Gulf has more problems than oil...

I have to say: a lot has gone on since I last updated. I would like to start off by saying in advance: sorry for any spelling mistakes. I am using a wireless keyboard that enjoys omitting several letters/spaces from my words. What happened to the beloved MacBook Pro? Oh. It won't connect to the ethernet. Whatttt? I know. Don't get me started. I have full plans to Google the problem as soon as I am done doing this and internet job searching.

Yes. You read that right. Job searching. What about the nice job serving that paid 9 dollars an hr plus tips? Well, I'm glad you asked. It is NOT what I expected at all. I am paid 9 dollars an hour to nearly die of heat exhaustion and run food out to lazy rich people that don't tip. It is not a job where each "server" is tipped based on their own service; it is one of those "Hey look at us we have a jar labled "tips" please throw the 30 cents change that we just handed you in this here jar." Now, I know. I am making NINE DOLLARS AN HOUR. However, I could do much, much better serving. So that is what I am doing now, looking for a serving position.

Oh, by the way, for those of you that don't know, I am in Florida (Destin...for those who are no geographically inclined, it's on the Gulf...hence blog title.) for the summer, trying to make a few bucks before I have to return to dreary old Cleveland. More to come. I am already tired of this keyboard.

Ciao,

Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year?

Yes. I know that Stanleycakes may have titled her post in this fashion first, but I had dibs! I don't even think I have ever heard her listen to Fallout Boy. Oh well. On to the post.

I wish I could do this more. But I really don't have the time.

My sophomore year of college is over. It's so hard to believe. So...let's take some time to reflect upon what has happened this year: the ups, the downs, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I remember moving in like it was yesterday. Nothing too exciting happened. My mom helped me move in and stayed in the shittiest hotel in Cleveland.

I think the first significant thing that happened after I moved in was that I got a job. I went up to the Lonestar in North Olmsted and applied and got the job. Server. If you read my blog you already know that.

I also changed my major from Biology to Chemistry. I am going to be a high school chemistry teacher. Eventually.

I think that the most emotional thing that happened is something that I never even worry about now. In the fall of 2009, my father and the woman he is with, Teresa, had a fight and she kicked him out. He was homeless for a few days. I mentioned it to Kathy, his ex-wife and she told her kids. Her daughter, Amber, posted a comment on Teresa's myspace totally ripping her a new one for kicking my father out. Well, by the time that Teresa got the comment, she and my father were back together and things were fine (as fine as they are for those two. I will blog about their dysfunctional relationship later). Needless to say, she was extremely angry and my father was angry that I had told someone else what had happened. He called me up yelling and said: "I love you Sha-Ray, but I am not going to let you ruin my happiness." I don't remember what he said, but he threatened to disown me. Then, it was a big deal. Now, it's not.

That same day, Andy was in an accident on his way home. He was fine, but it was really scary.

Thanksgiving break was amazing. Read my post on it if you want to know about it.

My chemistry prof found out he had cancer and is now well on his way to beating it.

Christmas break was spent at my mom's house in Alabama. Nothing to exciting happened there. I had a good Christmas.

Spring break: Florida with Stanleycakes. (check out her blog, link above) That was really fun.

Easter and Andy's house. Fun event. Had Polish food that was terrible for you. Nothing too exciting happened there.

I spent a lot of time with Amanda (Stanleycakes). We got really close and I am glad. I don't know what I would do without her. She went through a LOT of ups and downs over the year. But that is her story to tell, not mine.

Andy. He is amazing. I love him more than anything. I don't want to sound all cliche and say that we got closer over the year, because we obviously did. I feel like we have been together a lot longer than a year and a half. I am planning to write a blog about the two of us later.

And that's pretty much all that happened. It was not a very eventful year. I feel like I got closer to some, and that I drifted away from others.

It was a good year, as far as I am concerned. :)

Before I start this blog I would like to give a big thank-you to The Wifeyfor re-designing my blog layout. I love it. It is gorgeous.

My last two weeks have been Hell. Well, maybe not Hell. But it was no tiptoe through the tulips. Friday, May 7th, I moved out of my dorm and said goodbye to my boyfriend for the summer. Or so I thought. I spent all of my time in Geneva making up for lost time with some old friends. I finally get back to Kathy's place at about 8ish. I get a message from Andy a little later saying that his father was really sick. Not more than 15 minutes later, he told me that his father had died and he asked me to come to Pennsylvania to be there for him.

Hardest trip of my life.

I spend the last two weeks with Andy and his family, helping them get through their hard time and helping out wherever I could.

Andy's father was a wonderful man and he touched countless peoples' lives. He will be forever missed.

I had a lot of people telling me what a great person I was for going and being with the family in their time of need. I did not even realize that it was an act of kindness; I was needed there, there was never any question of whether or not I would be there.

I know this is kind of choppy; I made the trip from Pennsylvania to Alabama today and I am really tired. I just wanted to post a quick update as to what I have been up to and why I have been absent for two weeks and why the promised "Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year" blog hasn't been posted yet. It is a work in progress.

Also-I am not comfortable blogging about Andy's father in detail yet. I have a lot of good stories to tell; I want to do Dr. Betts justice when I blog about him. He was a great man and he deserves the best recognition possible, not a winged post done on 6 hours of sleep and 11 hours of nonstop driving.

More is yet to come, stick around and see

A flashback: Freshman year

It is very inconceivable for me that I am almost done with my first year of college. Where did the time go? Somehow, all within the last year, I have graduated high school and almost completed my first year of college. And, oh what things have happened in between!


I guess the first "turning point" if you could call it that would be when I actually left home and went to college. College is not what I expected it to be at all. It seems really, very easy compared to what you see on TV. I mean easy by the actual transition from living at home. The classes are much more difficult than high school classes. For the first time in my entire life, I have to study. Luckily, my first semester was super easy, and I have only struggled a bit my second. My hardest classes appear to be Biology and LAS, I cant seem to bring up those C's. lol. Its not for lack of trying, though.


It's not the actual school work part of school that has affected me most, though. It's the people I have met. Although I do not have any college friendships that I could compare to those from high school, I have met some pretty amazing people here. I know that if I ever have any problem, I have people I can go to, and I hope that people feel comfortable coming to me with their problems. It also helps to know the people in your classes when it is somehow 2 days before an exam and you have no idea where to start studying.


An even bigger addition to my life would be my boyfriend, Andy, whom I met the very first week of classes here at B-W. It's a very funny story actually, and looking back now, I cannot believe that we actually got together. That sounds bad. Maybe I should explain the circumstances of our introduction.

My roommate and I wanted to go outside and shoot basketball. I'm not very good at it, but it's something that relieves stress and something that I love to do. We also had another friend, who we met while wandering around campus orientation weekend, who was going to shoot around with us. So there we were, vividly engrossed in our game of horse when I notice this older-looking guy walking toward the basketball courts. He had a basketball, and appeared to be an upperclassmen, so my first thought was "Great, I hope he doesn't think we are going to give up the court for him just because we are freshmen." Well, he ended up joining our game of horse and proceeded to completely own everyone else playing. Lucky me, the one who has never played basketball before gets to go after the basketball player. =/ Anyway, the entire time he played all he did was make fun of the way I played, the movies I had and hadn't seen, and pretty much anything else that came up in conversation. All the while, I am thinking, "wow, how can this guy be such an asshole?" A little later, the other guy we were with had to leave, and it was just me, Andy and my roommate. We were just standing around talking about high school, movies, music, pretty much anything, and Andy was still sliding in insulting remarks about me wherever he could fit them. Finally, I was able to find a movie that I had seen that he never had, Nothing to Lose. My roommate happened to have that movie in our room, so, I don't know if you would call it spite, or fate, or whatever, I invited Andy up to watch the movie. (Let it be known, that at this point in time, I wasn't even interested enough to remember his name. I seriously had to keep glancing at his ID to remember it...pathetic, I know.) Anyway, we watched the movie and then parted ways afterward, with the plans to meet up at the same time the next day, for basketball.

Well, the next day, after classes and whatnot, it was collectively decided by my roommate and I that we should do our laundry. Because of the lack of available machines, our laundry time ran over into "basketball time," and we ended up not being able to meet Andy for basketball, and my roommate and I were going to a Greek cookout (free food), so I invited Andy along. To make a long story short(er), I ended up helping him with his laundry and afterwards we got coffee and went down to the lake to talk. Somehow, we ended up talking about absolutely everything and pretty much anything and stayed out until 3am. (I later realized that the only one who was negatively affected by this was me. He didn't have class until 2. Lucky bastard.) Things after that are a bit fuzzy, but thats how it all started. Oh, and obviously the asshole first impression was some sort of ploy that I still don't understand. Apparently, all guys stand by the whole "Nice guys finish last" thing. oh well. It worked out for the best because I am now much happer than I have ever been with any other person.

The other really big thing that happened this year was my father and my step mother splitting up. It was inevietable, I see this now. but nevertheless, it was extremely surprising. Especially since I found out in the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport in Texas. How strange it was to hear my stepmother yell the words "Fine, just go back to your whore in Cleveland." Wow. Shocker right there. Maybe I should explain...
So there I was, sitting, waiting for our plane to get there. I was excitedly talking on the phone with my one of my best friends, telling her how excited I was to be getting to go to Puerto Rico, for the sun, the sand, the views, it all seemed like it was too good to be true. Well, just like in a book, as soon as those thoughts went through my mind, my step mother stormed over and said "Let's go, we're going back to Cleveland." I was like, "haha, very funny," but then I saw how much they were arguing. (I am still on the phone) Then there was that pivotal moment where "Fine, just go back to your whore in Cleveland." I hung up my phone and instantly called my boyfriend, obviously freaking out. I filled him in on everything, crying. I ended up staying the night in the Dallas/Fort Worth terminal, it was one of the longest nights of my life. The next morning, I got back on the plane and came back to Cleveland.

Now, things are pretty tense between my dad and my step-mother. Therefore, it makes things tense for me. I feel like I am out of place, constantly. I am going back down to Alabama this summer and staying with my mother. I am going to continue to go to school in Cleveland. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I know that I do not regret things from my past. My past experiences make me who I am today, and I get stronger with every one that doesn't bring me down.

"All you ever do is work and do calculus"

Yes. That's me. Work and calculus. I didn't really think it was a problem until Andy said that to me one day. It's true. All I do is work and do calculus.

Work.
I just want to take a quick minute and blog about what happened at work on Saturday night. For anyone who doesn't know, I work as a server at a steakhouse. I usually love my job. I love working with people and I love the people I work with. I also realize that not every night is going to be that wonderful night where you leave work with an additional Benjamin in your wallet; and don't get me wrong, it's not all about the money. I have a receipt that a customer returned to me, and all it said on it was "Thanks for great service." For the record, the couple left me a 20% tip, so they weren't the type who were "verbal tippers." I really, really appreciated the note. I still have it in my book and look at it whenever I feel down at work. Saturday, however, I needed more than those words of encouragement.

Storytime.
Well, I guess my Saturday work night started out when I went to leave. I got in my car, started it up, turned up Lady Gaga and put my windows down. (Nice days in Berea, Ohio are hard to pass up.) I back up three feet and my car dies.
Not that it's a really big deal; I always leave a bit early, and my car has done this before. I got it to start up (after quite a few fruitless tries) and parked it back into its spot. Andy took me to work that night. (Thanks, sweetie)

Anyway, I got to work on time by some grace of God. My first table was two guys. Not only were they nice guys, but by some well placed flirting, I made $12 dollars off of that table. *cha-ching*. By another grace of God, my next table was 4 guys. They also drank. And loved me. They even asked my boss to give me a raise. After she refused this, they said she should at least give me paid vacation. (Part-time employers do not get benefits). She told them to tip me well. They did. $16 dollars well. *cha-ching*

My next table was an older couple. A cute older couple, mind you. The guy kind of looked like Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace. His wife was one of those cute old ladies. I walked over to their table, introduced myself, got their drink orders and offered appetizers. The guy kind of looked at me and said, "We just sat down, sweetheart" (Or some other endearing term). So I just went back and got their drinks/bread and asked if they were ready to order. They were not so I went back to my business dealing with my other tables. I won't bore you with what went on there, nothing noteworthy.

I went back and got their orders and delivered their salad/chili. Ten or so mins later, my manager, Matt, was chopping up a new salad for the lady at my table. Apparently our romaine was cut too largely for her to eat. Understandable. He took the salad to her and all was well. Their food came up shortly afterwards; I wasn't there to deliver it because I was running someone else's food. I think Matt ended up taking it to the table and they wanted it brought back until they were able to eat it. I took it to them later and, again, it seemed like all was well. When they looked as if they were about done, I walked up and asked if they wanted dessert. They wanted the key lime pie, and the gentleman asked for a box. I went back to the back to get their slice of key lime pie out of the cooler and took it to their table. I removed the lady's plate and asked the man if I could do the same with his. He said no, he would like his box. I apologized and asked if I could get him a glass of water while I was in the back getting his box. He said:

"No. I would like for you to clean our table off. Just forget it, get your manager."

This is the first time this has ever happened to me. In my opinion, the guy was overreacting. Yes, I forgot his box. And yes, he did get free dessert and coffee out of his outburst. But his terrible attitude did little for my self-confidence and self-esteem for the rest of the night. Too bad he was my 3rd table on a Saturday night. I went through a lot more. And to make matters worse, his wife grabbed my arm as they were leaving and as a reply to my "Have a great evening", said in my ear:

"Just get the junk off of the table next time."

I think she might have been trying to make me feel better. But she just made me feel worse. My manager had already talked to me about it. He had already said that the old man was an asshole. And he already told me what happened. And not to worry about it.

Well, dear old lady, there will not be a next time. I will not wait on you again. If I see you and your Mr.-Wilson-look-alike husband I will ask not to be your server.
Because, if I was, I feel that I would have something to live up to, and I do not. I am a great server. I do my job well, and I have tips and previous customers to prove it. I don't have anything to prove to you and your husband.

Calculus.
Yes. I have to do it now.

Not-so-happy St. Patrick's Day

Not that I celebrate St. Patricks Day or anything.

So, my step-mother is supposed to give me her tax info so that I can use it for my FAFSA (or FASFA. I can never remember.) And she has YET to email me the info. If she doesn't email me the info, not only can I not go to B-W next year, I will not be able to attend any sort of school due to financial reasons.

And to top that off-
The boyfriend and I are arguing.
Gah.

Blogging

I'm terrible at it. I obviously do not blog regularly. I want to, but I do not have time. I don't really want to talk about my past anymore. So that's not the direction in which the blog is going to go. I feel that I should blog about spring break and about my job and about my family. maybe tomorrow night after work I will do just that.

Ahem...

*fumes*
I am NOT happy right now.

My life. And why it's different.

I have been toying with the idea of changing up my blog. A lot. I needed a clever name and a snazzy layout, neither of which has happened. But I think I am cool with that. Tonight, I changed it: Life, With Sass. Lame, yes. However...I think I have an idea to make it work. See, my step mother has always called me "Sassy." My name is Sha-Ray. Sassysharay obviously sounds good, since it what I use for everything. But I also have a story to tell. A story about what I have been through. My life, to date, which makes me the person that I am today. The only reason that I feel like I can do this is because my family really doesn't know about this blog. I used to have it connected to Facebook so that my posts showed up there as notes, but I recently took it down, because all of my family has Facebook. If I want it posted there, I will post it there. But I promised a story, so here it is:

My early childhood was normal, for the most part. I mean, as normal as can be, right? And who am I to define what 'normal' is anyway? Each person/situation is different, therefore there really is no 'normal'. Anyway, that's a different story.

My parents fought a lot when I was a child. They weren't meant for each other, and probably the only thing good that came out of that marriage was my sister and I. They got divorced in 2001, I believe. My dad met someone else. Not that it matters, but to respect confidentiality we will call her "Jane." My dad worked with "Jane" and became good friends with her. They were both married when they met, and they even started hanging out with each other and their spouses. Well, to make a long, boring, not pertinent story short, my dad ended up marrying "Jane."

This is pretty much where my life changed. Drastically. I mean, it was slow, so I didn't see it. But I pretty much went from being a child to an adult. "Jane" had three kids, and my dad had my sister and I. We all lived together, my father got custody of us, however I don't remember why. For the first 6 months or so, we were an okay family. Yeah, Dad and "Jane" fought. A lot. But I was used to it. Remember? My parents had been fighting all of my life. Why would it seem strange? Anyway, "Jane" tried to be friends with my sister and I from the start.

Backtrack a bit:
Summer of 2001, my sister and I were staying with my grandmother in Florida, as we did every summer. My dad came down with "Jane" to pick us up to take us back to Alabama. My sister and I did not know "Jane" at this point, we did not even know that our father was coming down there to pick us up, if I remember correctly. We hung out with them for a while, went to the beach, went to a friends house and swam in their pool. "Jane" bought my sister and I swimsuits, we couldn't figure out what was up, and again, if I remember correctly, I didn't really expect anything. When we got back to Alabama, mother and dad sat us down and told us that they were divorcing. I remember going back into my room and crocheting a scarf. I don't know why. I was not upset.

Back to the story. We were living in Florida, but dad and "Jane" couldn't find jobs so we moved back to Alabama. They both started working, so I was paid to babysit. The term 'babysit' actually turned into 'slave who does whatever she is told' but that is what this story is leading up to, isn't it?

To make a long story short(er), I babysat. All the time. I never really did anything. I think I can count the times I spent the night with someone from the time I was in 5th grade until I graduated high school on my fingers. I can count the times I went out to the mall and hung out with friends on my fingers. I can count the number of things I was -allowed- to do at school on one hand. I cooked, I did laundry, I cleaned. For a family of 7. No. It doesn't sound all that bad. But I started all of this when I was 10 years old. I was never allowed to have an actual childhood. I went to the mall with my sister just the other day, and there were groups of kids hanging out in the mall, and, try as I might, I could not figure out the point of it. What is the point of getting up a group of people, dressing up like you are going clubbing, and just sitting at the food court of the mall. And I assume the reason I cannot understand this is because when I think of all the times when I was out alone with friends in the mall...oh...that's right....I can't think of any. Yeah, this one time I went to the mall with Robin and her mom. (Friend) But all I really remember from it was my "Jane" calling and making me come home early because she needed someone to watch her children.

I was a mother. I was a mother of four children when I was ten years old. Well, I am exaggerating a wee bit. I didn't start fully taking care of her children until after we moved to Ohio, which was in 2004/2005. And then, I think I got about 6 months to a year because we lived with "Jane's" mother. But, after we moved into our own house, "Jane" started working 3rd shift and my dad went back over the road. (He was a truck driver) It was my sole responsibility to do the laundry for every inhabitant of the house, provide the children with food, clean up after them, make sure they bathed, brushed their teeth, did their chores/homework, and went to school. I also had to shop for groceries, and make sure the yard work got done. And when money was tight, I had to figure out a way to make things work. I remember one night, we had barely any food in the house, and I had to conjure up something for the kids for dinner. I ended up making butter noodles. Butter and freakin angel hair pasta. I think I added garlic or something to make it edible. I have served mac and cheese and hot dogs/ramen noodles/walmart rice-a-roni and fried bologna more times that I can even possibly count.

Now, all of this wouldn't have been that bad, but...my father and "Jane" aren't the world's greatest parents by a long shot. I didn't get much thanks or recognition. And if I slipped up and forgot to do something, like start the dishwasher or do a load of laundry, I was grounded for two weeks. No music, no phone, no friends. Now, yes. I realize that I had responsibilities that I had to address, but I was treated different than my siblings. No, they weren't treated great either, but they had much more leeway than I did. They could go without doing their chores for a week and nothing happen, but heaven forbid I go one day.

I was also put down a lot by my father. Don't get me wrong, he was alright most of the time, but I could never make him truly happy. He was always calling me stupid. Always degrading me. Always calling me lazy. Always calling me a bitch. Ungrateful. Spiteful. You name it.
So...let me go on to say: I was a model student. All A's. Valedictorian. I did everything I could to please my father and "Jane." And, yeah, every once in a while they said they were proud of me. But they still called me stupid. Lazy. Bitch. Ungrateful. Spiteful.

I realize that I am kind of jumping around here. But, the story is a hard one to tell, considering that I didn't see it happening.

One thing that still bothers me today. "Jane" and my father really weren't big on us kids showing emotions. We weren't allowed to cry. We got in trouble for crying. Me? When I get angry, I cry. When I am getting yelled at, I cry. When I am upset, I cry. When I get stressed, I cry. AND I DO NOT DO IT FOR PITY. I DO NOT DO IT FOR "BROWNIE POINTS". I DO NOT DO IT TO GET MY WAY. I DO NOT DO IT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD. I don't know how many times I have been accused of the previous statements. But, because of this, it is really hard for me to show my emotions now. I do still cry easily, but I try not to. Because I have been conditioned to think that crying isn't allowed. I also don't really speak my mind as much as I should.

And, because of the many years where I was a live-in maid that pretty much did EVERYTHING I was told, I have a really hard time saying "no" to people.

Anyway, I was promised a lot by my father and "Jane". A lot that was never, ever delivered. I gave my childhood away because they didn't want to hire a real babysitter. I never really got the time to just be a kid, to just enjoy the little things in life. Like, I wanted to be in band in high school. To much of a commitment. I wanted to stay the night at my friends' houses. Too bad. I had to baby sit. All the time. I never really ever spent the night at friends houses in high school unless there was a party or something. And that happened once.

Anyway...I think this is going to be a continuing story. Or one in which I post random bits and pieces until I feel content.

This is the first time I have done anything like this.

Sassy

Love/Hate

I'm terribly bored. But I am not quite ready for bed yet. So I am going to make a love/hate list. These were big when I had Xanga, and I ran across my old Xanga page recently. I would post the link, but I can't ever remember how to get back to it. I just stumble across it every once in a while. Let's see how this goes.

I love:
1.) Andy
2.) My family
3.) Good friends
4.) Things that smell good
5.) Christmas
6.) Nicholas Sparks books
7.) Good movies
8.) Happy endings
9.) That feeling you get when you are working out
10.)Good cookies (which, after eating, you feel like you need to work out. haha.)
11.)Movie trivia. I used to play it alot when I was little
12.)Chapstick (sorry. currently have chapped lips. winter, ftw)
13.)Babies.
14.)Painting my nails just to make myself feel better
15.)Turning my music up and singing as loud as I can. When I am alone, of course. lol
16.)Little things that make me smile. Example? When Andy does something totally random, cute, spur of the moment, romantic. Sadly, it doesn't happen all that much.
17.)Sleeping...which I am about to do...

So, this list is obviously incomplete.
And I almost just deleted it all and went to bed. But I guess I can just post the love part and leave the hate for tomorrow. I will do it right after i jog. Because I'm sure I will have a lot to complain about then.

Well, Until tomorrow...
Sassy

Money and Jewelry...the way to a girl's heart...or mine, at least

Yeah, that means I got my gift from my grandparents. :D It couldn't have come at a better time. Yeah. I need money. Doesn't everybody, though?

An update from last night: I got in to the Nicholas Sparks book. I thought it was amazing until I finished it this morning. Seriously, does he have to make every book extremely sad? I seriously cried for quite a while when I finished it. Talk about being emotionally distraught.

Anyway. In other news, I am a bit irritated. I wonder when my mother is going to realize that I am not a child anymore. There is a Christmas cookie party tonight, from 4-6 or something, and after 6 there is an "after-party" of sorts. Adults only, of course. So guess who gets to drive their own car so that she and her sister can leave at 6? Yeah. Me. Not that I wanted to go to the "adult" party, I don't drink, nor, admittedly, am I old enough. However, I am not a child, and an invite would have been appreciated.

But, I don't want to sound like I am sulking, I am not. And my sister and I will probably just drop off at the mall and just hang out. It sounds fun. But I think that it is the principle of the whole ordeal that irritates me.

Ah. Maybe I am just overreacting. I tend to do that a lot. Oh, well.

I still have yet to make my other batch of cookies. Mother opted out of making cookies for this social, because, conveniently, I had already made some. Just as long as she doesn't take the credit for my cookies, I don't care.

I sound petty, I know. I'm going to stop now. Because I know I am being ridiculous.

Our first Christmas gathering is tomorrow. I don't even really remember all of the people that are going to be there. I haven't spent Christmas here in quite a while.

Aish. Oh well. Waiting for the mother to get home, then leaving for the cookie thing.